So, as I said, it hit me yesterday that George is doing so badly.
Today, my care group was so sweet! I Love Them!! It is just nice to be told that it is ok to cry. It is nice to be surrounded by such great people!
It is also nice to go to church, where there are 5,000 members, and to walk in the door and feel loved. To get hugs...... to get people asking how we are, how Matthew is and how George is..... to know that you can go to such a big church and it can still feel like a tight knit family is amazing.......
Driving home tonite there was a storm rolling in, black and dark, thunder and lightening. It was kinda how I have been feeling inside..... sad, mad (that someone so wonderful, has to go through hell) and just upset..... and then I turn to go home and I am driving in to blue skies..... ( i know things will get better.... sadness, anger will subside eventually) and i look to my right and there is the most fantastic sunset, with the sun rays bursting through the clouds, and God was just reminding me that He is walking right there with me, and Matthew and his family.... and the He will carry us....all of us....some day we may even find a purpose in all of this... we might be able to make sense of it all and if we cant we can rest in the fact that it is not the end.... Someday soon George will stop hurting, he will be with Jesus and we will see him again. It doesnt take the hurt away but it is comforting.
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