I have been through some things in my life.
I had some difficulties growing up, I was into drugs and alcohol, and other bad things, I lost my first son to a miscarriage, I have lost loved ones, I have been in bad church sitations, I have had conflicts and tough times in so so so many areas.
And I have made the choice to rise above those situations.
I think everyone has two choices.
Rise above the circumstance, be the bigger person, or break the cycle of family abuse, or whatever it may be, rise above!! -OR- Use whatever circumstance you are in as a cop-out to do nothing. Use it as a way to get attention, and eventually you get so used to always having problems, that you dont want to be normal.
I dont know.......
I have encountered too many people that always seem to have one issue after another. Someone always hurts and wrongs them, they are always the victim, they never do anything wrong and the world owes them
Well I just think we choose how we respond to everything in life. We may not get to choose our circumstances but we do get to choose how we react.
No one can "make us mad". People can be mean to us but we choose to get mad, they dont make us get mad. No one can make us feel or do anything, we have the choice. Even when we feel like there is no way out, or there is no choice, there is!! It is hard, it is never easy but we always have a choice.
Next time you open your mouth to complain, try to remember(like i try to) that there is ALWAYS someone else in this world that is in a far worse situation and I bet you they are not whining and complaining about it.
Be content and be thankful for what you have and where you are at and God will bless You with more and better!
I love all my whiney friends and family but I just wish everyone would think a bit before they peak (myself included for sure)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Second Chances
Thank You God for second chances, Thank You for not giving up on me
Thank You for this revelation, for helping me see
Being a "Christian" doesnt mean a whole lot, unless followed by a relationship with You
Believing in You and knowing You are so different
But I "got it" and now I'm made new.
My faith isnt about condemning and judging
My faith isnt about rules and traditions
My faith is about love and admissions
Admitting that I am awful and need You
Admitting that I mess up every day
Admitting that I cant do life without You
And that there is no other way
I love You Jesus
Yes i do
Thank You Jesus
For making my heart new
I said I Love You before
But I didnt feel it
Didnt know it was real
But it is now
Without a doubt
I just want to scream and shout
That You are my savior
And I love You more than life itself!
Thank You for this revelation, for helping me see
Being a "Christian" doesnt mean a whole lot, unless followed by a relationship with You
Believing in You and knowing You are so different
But I "got it" and now I'm made new.
My faith isnt about condemning and judging
My faith isnt about rules and traditions
My faith is about love and admissions
Admitting that I am awful and need You
Admitting that I mess up every day
Admitting that I cant do life without You
And that there is no other way
I love You Jesus
Yes i do
Thank You Jesus
For making my heart new
I said I Love You before
But I didnt feel it
Didnt know it was real
But it is now
Without a doubt
I just want to scream and shout
That You are my savior
And I love You more than life itself!
We Did It!
So we went to church last night and Ben was leading. We did this song called "Glow" by Hillsong,
Just so you can hear it, i love Hillsong, so I am always happy when we do them. ANYWAYS..............Then I look up and see my favorite drummer, which made my day, he is Amazing!! I am a huge fan. lol.
Then the message was amazing, it put a lump in my throat the whole time. It was one that was exactly what I needed to hear. Pastor Tim always seems to do that. I love it. I will post a link this week when the service is archived online, you will have to watch it.
Then we got baptized!
Just so you can hear it, i love Hillsong, so I am always happy when we do them. ANYWAYS..............Then I look up and see my favorite drummer, which made my day, he is Amazing!! I am a huge fan. lol.
Then the message was amazing, it put a lump in my throat the whole time. It was one that was exactly what I needed to hear. Pastor Tim always seems to do that. I love it. I will post a link this week when the service is archived online, you will have to watch it.
Then we got baptized!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Hats! Too many hobbies!
Ok, so I started to crochet, and then got sick of it, took up making bows and got sick of that, so I took up sewing, and got sick of that. Now I am back to crochet. It works out really well, when I get bored with one craft I can move on to the next.
I am now trying to work up some animal hats in various sizes to get stockpiled for the fall when people want to start buying them up again.
I am torn about taking custom orders or just crochetting hats and selling what I have made.
Anyways........
I am now trying to work up some animal hats in various sizes to get stockpiled for the fall when people want to start buying them up again.
I am torn about taking custom orders or just crochetting hats and selling what I have made.
Anyways........
Monday, July 19, 2010
I Love My Husband
I am just so thankful for Matthew.
God knew what he was doing when He blessed me with Matthew.
Over the course of our marriage, Matthew has helped give me a backbone!
He helped me realize that I am smart, that I have talents, that I am a good and decent person. He helped me realize that I can stand up for myself, and speak up more than I did.
Matthew has helped me and been with me through good and bad times and he is my best friend. I thank God for Matthew EVERY single day. He is an amazing husband, father and friend.
I have loved every second of my marriage and look forward to every second God gives us together in the future.
God knew what he was doing when He blessed me with Matthew.
Over the course of our marriage, Matthew has helped give me a backbone!
He helped me realize that I am smart, that I have talents, that I am a good and decent person. He helped me realize that I can stand up for myself, and speak up more than I did.
Matthew has helped me and been with me through good and bad times and he is my best friend. I thank God for Matthew EVERY single day. He is an amazing husband, father and friend.
I have loved every second of my marriage and look forward to every second God gives us together in the future.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Found some interesting information on the hospice website
http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for.html
Preparing for Approaching Death
When a person enters the final stage of the dying process, two different dynamics are at work which are closely interrelated and interdependent. On the physical plane, the body begins the final process of shutting down, which will end when all the physical systems cease to function. Usually this is an orderly and undramatic progressive series of physical changes which are not medical emergencies requiring invasive interventions. These physical changes are a normal, natural way in which the body prepares itself to stop, and the most appropriate kinds of responses are comfort enhancing measures.
The other dynamic of the dying process at work is on the emotional-spiritual-mental plane, and is a different kind of process. The spirit of the dying person begins the final process of release from the body, its immediate environment, and all attachments. This release also tends to follow its own priorities, which may include the resolution of whatever is unfinished of a practical nature and reception of permission to “let go” from family members. These events are the normal, natural way in which the spirit prepares to move from this existence into the next dimension of life. The most appropriate kinds of responses to the emotional-spiritual-mental changes are those which support and encourage this release and transition.
When a person’s body is ready and wanting to stop, but the person is still unresolved or unreconciled over some important issue or with some significant relationship, he or she may tend to linger in order to finish whatever needs finishing even though he or she may be uncomfortable or debilitated. On the other hand, when a person is emotionally-spiritually-mentally resolved and ready for this release, but his or her body has not completed its final physical shut down, the person will continue to live until that shut down process ceases.
The experience we call death occurs when the body completes its natural process of shutting down, and when the spirit completes its natural process of reconciling and finishing. These two processes need to happen in a way appropriate and unique to the values, beliefs, and lifestyle of the dying person.
Therefore, as you seek to prepare yourself as this event approaches, the members of your Hospice care team want you to know what to expect and how to respond in ways that will help your loved one accomplish this transition with support, understanding, and ease. This is the great gift of love you have to offer your loved one as this moment approaches.
The emotional-spiritual-mental and physical signs and symptoms of impending death which follow are offered to help you understand the natural kinds of things which may happen and how you can respond appropriately. Not all these signs and symptoms will occur with every person, nor will they occur in this particular sequence. Each person is unique and needs to do things in his or her own way. This is not the time to try to change your loved one, but the time to give full acceptance, support, and comfort.
The following signs and symptoms described are indicative of how the body prepares itself for the final stage of life.
Coolness
The person´s hands and arms, feet and then legs may be increasingly cool to the touch, and at the same time the color of the skin may change. This a normal indication that the circulation of blood is decreasing to the body’s extremities and being reserved for the most vital organs. Keep the person warm with a blanket, but do not use one that is electric.
Sleeping
The person may spend an increasing amount of time sleeping, and appear to be uncommunicative or unresponsive and at times be difficult to arouse. This normal change is due in part to changes in the metabolism of the body. Sit with your loved one, hold his or her hand, but do not shake it or speak loudly. Speak softly and naturally. Plan to spend time with your loved one during those times when he or she seems most alert or awake. Do not talk about the person in the person’s presence. Speak to him or her directly as you normally would, even though there may be no response. Never assume the person cannot hear; hearing is the last of the senses to be lost.
Disorientation
The person may seem to be confused about the time, place, and identity of people surrounding him or her including close and familiar people. This is also due in part to the metabolism changes. Identify yourself by name before you speak rather than to ask the person to guess who you are. Speak softly, clearly, and truthfully when you need to communicate something important for the patient’s comfort, such as, It is time to take your medication, and explain the reason for the communication, such as, so you won’t begin to hurt. Do not use this method to try to manipulate the patient to meet your needs.
Incontinence
The person may lose control of urine and/or bowel matter as the muscles in that area begin to relax. Discuss with your Hospice nurse what can be done to protect the bed and keep your loved one clean and comfortable.
Congestion
The person may have gurgling sounds coming from his or her chest as though marbles were rolling around inside these sounds may become very loud. This normal change is due to the decrease of fluid intake and an inability to cough up normal secretions. Suctioning usually only increases the secretions and causes sharp discomfort. Gently turn the person s head to the side and allow gravity to drain the secretions. You may also gently wipe the mouth with a moist cloth. The sound of the congestion does not indicate the onset of severe or new pain.
Restlessness
The person may make restless and repetitive motions such as pulling at bed linen or clothing. This often happens and is due in part to the decrease in oxygen circulation to the brain and to metabolism changes. Do not interfere with or try to restrain such motions. To have a calming effect, speak in a quiet, natural way, lightly massage the forehead, read to the person, or play some soothing music.
Urine Decrease
The person´s urine output normally decreases and may become tea colored referred to as concentrated urine. This is due to the decreased fluid intake as well as decrease in circulation through the kidneys. Consult with your Hospice nurse to determine whether there may be a need to insert or irrigate a catheter.
Fluid and Food Decrease
The person may have a decrease in appetite and thirst, wanting little or no food or fluid. The body will naturally begin to conserve energy which is expended on these tasks. Do not try to force food or drink into the person, or try to use guilt to manipulate them into eating or drinking something. To do this only makes the person much more uncomfortable. Small chips of ice, frozen Gatorade or juice may be refreshing in the mouth. If the person is able to swallow, fluids may be given in small amounts by syringe (ask the Hospice nurse for guidance). Glycerin swabs may help keep the mouth and lips moist and comfortable. A cool, moist washcloth on the forehead may also increase physical comfort.
Breathing Pattern Change
The person s regular breathing pattern may change with the onset of a different breathing pace. A particular pattern consists of breathing irregularly, i.e., shallow breaths with periods of no breathing of five to thirty seconds and up to a full minute. This is called Cheyne-Stokes breathing. The person may also experience periods of rapid shallow pant-like breathing. These patterns are very common and indicate decrease in circulation in the internal organs. Elevating the head, and/or turning the person onto his or her side may bring comfort. Hold your loved one’s hand. Speak gently.
Normal Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental Signs and Symptoms with Appropriate Responses
Withdrawal
The person may seem unresponsive, withdrawn, or in a comatose-like state. This indicates preparation for release, a detaching from surroundings and relationships, and a beginning of letting go. Since hearing remains all the way to the end, speak to your loved one in your normal tone of voice, identifying yourself by name when you speak, hold his or her hand, and say whatever you need to say that will help the person let go.
Vision-like Experiences
The person may speak or claim to have spoken to persons who have already died, or to see or have seen places not presently accessible or visible to you. This does not indicate an hallucination or a drug reaction. The person is beginning to detach from this life and is being prepared for the transition so it will not be frightening. Do not contradict, explain away, belittle or argue about what the person claims to have seen or heard. Just because you cannot see or hear it does not mean it is not real to your loved one. Affirm his or her experience. They are normal and common. If they frighten your loved one, explain that they are normal occurrences.
Restlessness
The person may perform repetitive and restless tasks. This may in part indicate that something still unresolved or unfinished is disturbing him or her, and prevents him or her from letting go. Your Hospice team members will assist you in identifying what may be happening, and help you find ways to help the person find release from the tension or fear. Other things which may be helpful in calming the person are to recall a favorite place the person enjoyed, a favorite experience, read something comforting, play music, and give assurance that it is OK to let go.
Fluid and Food Decrease
When the person may want little or no fluid or food, this may indicate readiness for the final shut down. Do not try to force food or fluid. You may help your loved one by giving permission to let go whenever he or she is ready. At the same time affirm the person s ongoing value to you and the good you will carry forward into your life that you received from him or her.
Decreased Socialization
The person may only want to be with a very few or even just one person. This is a sign of preparation for release and affirms from whom the support is most needed in order to make the appropriate transition. If you are not part of this inner circle at the end, it does not mean you are not loved or are unimportant. It means you have already fulfilled your task with your loved one, and it is the time for you to say Good-bye. If you are part of the final inner circle of support, the person needs your affirmation, support, and permission.
Unusual Communication
The person may make a seemingly out of character or non sequitur statement, gesture, or request. This indicates that he or she is ready to say Good-bye and is testing you to see if you are ready to let him or her go. Accept the moment as a beautiful gift when it is offered. Kiss, hug, hold, cry, and say whatever you most need to say.
Giving Permission
Giving permission to your loved one to let go, without making him or her guilty for leaving or trying to keep him or her with you to meet your own needs, can be difficult. A dying person will normally try to hold on, even though it brings prolonged discomfort, in order to be sure those who are going to be left behind will be all right. Therefore, your ability to release the dying person from this concern and give him or her assurance that it is all right to let go whenever he or she is ready is one of the greatest gifts you have to give your loved one at this time.
Saying Good-bye
When the person is ready to die and you are able to let go, then is the time to say good-bye. Saying good-bye is your final gift of love to your loved one, for it achieves closure and makes the final release possible. It may be helpful to lay in bed and hold the person, or to take his or her hand and then say everything you need to say.
It may be as simple as saying, I love you. It may include recounting favorite memories, places, and activities you shared. It may include saying, I ’m sorry for whatever I contributed to any tension or difficulties in our relationship. It may also include saying, Thank you for...
Tears are a normal and natural part of saying good-bye. Tears do not need to be hidden from your loved one or apologized for. Tears express your love and help you to let go.
How Will You Know When Death Has Occurred?
Although you may be prepared for the death process, you may not be prepared for the actual death moment. It may be helpful for you and your family to think about and discuss what you would do if you were the one present at the death moment. The death of a hospice patient is not an emergency. Nothing must be done immediately.
The signs of death include such things as no breathing, no heartbeat, release of bowel and bladder, no response, eyelids slightly open, pupils enlarged, eyes fixed on a certain spot, no blinking, jaw relaxed and mouth slightly open. A hospice nurse will come to assist you if needed or desired. If not, phone support is available.
The body does not have to be moved until you are ready. If the family wants to assist in preparing the body by bathing or dressing, that may be done. Call the funeral home when you are ready to have the body moved, and identify the person as a Hospice patient. The police do not need to be called. The Hospice nurse will notify the physician.
___________________________________________________________________
It is so interesting to me, with everyone I have talked to about losing their spouse, they all went through these things. Everyone goes through the same type of stages upon passing.
Preparing for Approaching Death
When a person enters the final stage of the dying process, two different dynamics are at work which are closely interrelated and interdependent. On the physical plane, the body begins the final process of shutting down, which will end when all the physical systems cease to function. Usually this is an orderly and undramatic progressive series of physical changes which are not medical emergencies requiring invasive interventions. These physical changes are a normal, natural way in which the body prepares itself to stop, and the most appropriate kinds of responses are comfort enhancing measures.
The other dynamic of the dying process at work is on the emotional-spiritual-mental plane, and is a different kind of process. The spirit of the dying person begins the final process of release from the body, its immediate environment, and all attachments. This release also tends to follow its own priorities, which may include the resolution of whatever is unfinished of a practical nature and reception of permission to “let go” from family members. These events are the normal, natural way in which the spirit prepares to move from this existence into the next dimension of life. The most appropriate kinds of responses to the emotional-spiritual-mental changes are those which support and encourage this release and transition.
When a person’s body is ready and wanting to stop, but the person is still unresolved or unreconciled over some important issue or with some significant relationship, he or she may tend to linger in order to finish whatever needs finishing even though he or she may be uncomfortable or debilitated. On the other hand, when a person is emotionally-spiritually-mentally resolved and ready for this release, but his or her body has not completed its final physical shut down, the person will continue to live until that shut down process ceases.
The experience we call death occurs when the body completes its natural process of shutting down, and when the spirit completes its natural process of reconciling and finishing. These two processes need to happen in a way appropriate and unique to the values, beliefs, and lifestyle of the dying person.
Therefore, as you seek to prepare yourself as this event approaches, the members of your Hospice care team want you to know what to expect and how to respond in ways that will help your loved one accomplish this transition with support, understanding, and ease. This is the great gift of love you have to offer your loved one as this moment approaches.
The emotional-spiritual-mental and physical signs and symptoms of impending death which follow are offered to help you understand the natural kinds of things which may happen and how you can respond appropriately. Not all these signs and symptoms will occur with every person, nor will they occur in this particular sequence. Each person is unique and needs to do things in his or her own way. This is not the time to try to change your loved one, but the time to give full acceptance, support, and comfort.
The following signs and symptoms described are indicative of how the body prepares itself for the final stage of life.
Coolness
The person´s hands and arms, feet and then legs may be increasingly cool to the touch, and at the same time the color of the skin may change. This a normal indication that the circulation of blood is decreasing to the body’s extremities and being reserved for the most vital organs. Keep the person warm with a blanket, but do not use one that is electric.
Sleeping
The person may spend an increasing amount of time sleeping, and appear to be uncommunicative or unresponsive and at times be difficult to arouse. This normal change is due in part to changes in the metabolism of the body. Sit with your loved one, hold his or her hand, but do not shake it or speak loudly. Speak softly and naturally. Plan to spend time with your loved one during those times when he or she seems most alert or awake. Do not talk about the person in the person’s presence. Speak to him or her directly as you normally would, even though there may be no response. Never assume the person cannot hear; hearing is the last of the senses to be lost.
Disorientation
The person may seem to be confused about the time, place, and identity of people surrounding him or her including close and familiar people. This is also due in part to the metabolism changes. Identify yourself by name before you speak rather than to ask the person to guess who you are. Speak softly, clearly, and truthfully when you need to communicate something important for the patient’s comfort, such as, It is time to take your medication, and explain the reason for the communication, such as, so you won’t begin to hurt. Do not use this method to try to manipulate the patient to meet your needs.
Incontinence
The person may lose control of urine and/or bowel matter as the muscles in that area begin to relax. Discuss with your Hospice nurse what can be done to protect the bed and keep your loved one clean and comfortable.
Congestion
The person may have gurgling sounds coming from his or her chest as though marbles were rolling around inside these sounds may become very loud. This normal change is due to the decrease of fluid intake and an inability to cough up normal secretions. Suctioning usually only increases the secretions and causes sharp discomfort. Gently turn the person s head to the side and allow gravity to drain the secretions. You may also gently wipe the mouth with a moist cloth. The sound of the congestion does not indicate the onset of severe or new pain.
Restlessness
The person may make restless and repetitive motions such as pulling at bed linen or clothing. This often happens and is due in part to the decrease in oxygen circulation to the brain and to metabolism changes. Do not interfere with or try to restrain such motions. To have a calming effect, speak in a quiet, natural way, lightly massage the forehead, read to the person, or play some soothing music.
Urine Decrease
The person´s urine output normally decreases and may become tea colored referred to as concentrated urine. This is due to the decreased fluid intake as well as decrease in circulation through the kidneys. Consult with your Hospice nurse to determine whether there may be a need to insert or irrigate a catheter.
Fluid and Food Decrease
The person may have a decrease in appetite and thirst, wanting little or no food or fluid. The body will naturally begin to conserve energy which is expended on these tasks. Do not try to force food or drink into the person, or try to use guilt to manipulate them into eating or drinking something. To do this only makes the person much more uncomfortable. Small chips of ice, frozen Gatorade or juice may be refreshing in the mouth. If the person is able to swallow, fluids may be given in small amounts by syringe (ask the Hospice nurse for guidance). Glycerin swabs may help keep the mouth and lips moist and comfortable. A cool, moist washcloth on the forehead may also increase physical comfort.
Breathing Pattern Change
The person s regular breathing pattern may change with the onset of a different breathing pace. A particular pattern consists of breathing irregularly, i.e., shallow breaths with periods of no breathing of five to thirty seconds and up to a full minute. This is called Cheyne-Stokes breathing. The person may also experience periods of rapid shallow pant-like breathing. These patterns are very common and indicate decrease in circulation in the internal organs. Elevating the head, and/or turning the person onto his or her side may bring comfort. Hold your loved one’s hand. Speak gently.
Normal Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental Signs and Symptoms with Appropriate Responses
Withdrawal
The person may seem unresponsive, withdrawn, or in a comatose-like state. This indicates preparation for release, a detaching from surroundings and relationships, and a beginning of letting go. Since hearing remains all the way to the end, speak to your loved one in your normal tone of voice, identifying yourself by name when you speak, hold his or her hand, and say whatever you need to say that will help the person let go.
Vision-like Experiences
The person may speak or claim to have spoken to persons who have already died, or to see or have seen places not presently accessible or visible to you. This does not indicate an hallucination or a drug reaction. The person is beginning to detach from this life and is being prepared for the transition so it will not be frightening. Do not contradict, explain away, belittle or argue about what the person claims to have seen or heard. Just because you cannot see or hear it does not mean it is not real to your loved one. Affirm his or her experience. They are normal and common. If they frighten your loved one, explain that they are normal occurrences.
Restlessness
The person may perform repetitive and restless tasks. This may in part indicate that something still unresolved or unfinished is disturbing him or her, and prevents him or her from letting go. Your Hospice team members will assist you in identifying what may be happening, and help you find ways to help the person find release from the tension or fear. Other things which may be helpful in calming the person are to recall a favorite place the person enjoyed, a favorite experience, read something comforting, play music, and give assurance that it is OK to let go.
Fluid and Food Decrease
When the person may want little or no fluid or food, this may indicate readiness for the final shut down. Do not try to force food or fluid. You may help your loved one by giving permission to let go whenever he or she is ready. At the same time affirm the person s ongoing value to you and the good you will carry forward into your life that you received from him or her.
Decreased Socialization
The person may only want to be with a very few or even just one person. This is a sign of preparation for release and affirms from whom the support is most needed in order to make the appropriate transition. If you are not part of this inner circle at the end, it does not mean you are not loved or are unimportant. It means you have already fulfilled your task with your loved one, and it is the time for you to say Good-bye. If you are part of the final inner circle of support, the person needs your affirmation, support, and permission.
Unusual Communication
The person may make a seemingly out of character or non sequitur statement, gesture, or request. This indicates that he or she is ready to say Good-bye and is testing you to see if you are ready to let him or her go. Accept the moment as a beautiful gift when it is offered. Kiss, hug, hold, cry, and say whatever you most need to say.
Giving Permission
Giving permission to your loved one to let go, without making him or her guilty for leaving or trying to keep him or her with you to meet your own needs, can be difficult. A dying person will normally try to hold on, even though it brings prolonged discomfort, in order to be sure those who are going to be left behind will be all right. Therefore, your ability to release the dying person from this concern and give him or her assurance that it is all right to let go whenever he or she is ready is one of the greatest gifts you have to give your loved one at this time.
Saying Good-bye
When the person is ready to die and you are able to let go, then is the time to say good-bye. Saying good-bye is your final gift of love to your loved one, for it achieves closure and makes the final release possible. It may be helpful to lay in bed and hold the person, or to take his or her hand and then say everything you need to say.
It may be as simple as saying, I love you. It may include recounting favorite memories, places, and activities you shared. It may include saying, I ’m sorry for whatever I contributed to any tension or difficulties in our relationship. It may also include saying, Thank you for...
Tears are a normal and natural part of saying good-bye. Tears do not need to be hidden from your loved one or apologized for. Tears express your love and help you to let go.
How Will You Know When Death Has Occurred?
Although you may be prepared for the death process, you may not be prepared for the actual death moment. It may be helpful for you and your family to think about and discuss what you would do if you were the one present at the death moment. The death of a hospice patient is not an emergency. Nothing must be done immediately.
The signs of death include such things as no breathing, no heartbeat, release of bowel and bladder, no response, eyelids slightly open, pupils enlarged, eyes fixed on a certain spot, no blinking, jaw relaxed and mouth slightly open. A hospice nurse will come to assist you if needed or desired. If not, phone support is available.
The body does not have to be moved until you are ready. If the family wants to assist in preparing the body by bathing or dressing, that may be done. Call the funeral home when you are ready to have the body moved, and identify the person as a Hospice patient. The police do not need to be called. The Hospice nurse will notify the physician.
___________________________________________________________________
It is so interesting to me, with everyone I have talked to about losing their spouse, they all went through these things. Everyone goes through the same type of stages upon passing.
:-)
One week until we get baptized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited!
I can't say it enough :-)
I am so thankful for New Hope Church, because now I LOVE Jesus, Christianity is not complicated, and I have changed so much in my life and viewpoints for the better....... I am a better person now and I love it and am beyond thankful!
I am so excited!
I can't say it enough :-)
I am so thankful for New Hope Church, because now I LOVE Jesus, Christianity is not complicated, and I have changed so much in my life and viewpoints for the better....... I am a better person now and I love it and am beyond thankful!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I Hate Cancer
That is basically it.
I hate cancer, I hate even hearing the word.
I automatically think the worst with cancer, it just scares me.
My grandpa had cancer, he battled it for a while, then it started spreading to his bladder, he went to have that removed and never made it out of the hospital. It was one of the most horrible expierence of my life. He was such an amazing man of God, I miss him, he was instrumental in my knowing Jesus.
Well now Matthew's dad has pancreatic cancer. It is in his pancreas, liver, and other places, he is getting fluid in his lungs and stomach now. It makes me so sad, but also so proud to call him my father in law. He is fighting this horrible disease tooth and nail. He is coming up on a year since his diagnosis, most people with that cancer dont live this long. He is living and working still. He is a proud, stubborn, strong, courageous man. I admire and respect him so much.
When you are having a hard time with anything in life, health, money, family, whatever it is, just be like Matthews dad. Rise above the situation, fight until you dont have any fight left in you, and just never give up. Dont succomb to becoming another statistic, God is not a God of statistics, with Him you can conquer and get through anything.
I hate cancer, I hate even hearing the word.
I automatically think the worst with cancer, it just scares me.
My grandpa had cancer, he battled it for a while, then it started spreading to his bladder, he went to have that removed and never made it out of the hospital. It was one of the most horrible expierence of my life. He was such an amazing man of God, I miss him, he was instrumental in my knowing Jesus.
Well now Matthew's dad has pancreatic cancer. It is in his pancreas, liver, and other places, he is getting fluid in his lungs and stomach now. It makes me so sad, but also so proud to call him my father in law. He is fighting this horrible disease tooth and nail. He is coming up on a year since his diagnosis, most people with that cancer dont live this long. He is living and working still. He is a proud, stubborn, strong, courageous man. I admire and respect him so much.
When you are having a hard time with anything in life, health, money, family, whatever it is, just be like Matthews dad. Rise above the situation, fight until you dont have any fight left in you, and just never give up. Dont succomb to becoming another statistic, God is not a God of statistics, with Him you can conquer and get through anything.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wow!
I just recently found some old journals from when I was depressed and addicted to drugs. They were very sad writings, poems and thoughts.
At a few points in my life I didn't care if I were to live or die, I felt no one cared, so it wouldnt make a difference.
Then there was a small glimmer of hope.
I worked at a tv station in Longview, and my boss John was instrumental in me changing my life. He cared. It was that simple. He just cared. He checked in at the school about how my grades were doing, he pushed me to always do better, and he told me he is always there for me if I ever needed to talk or anything. I felt at one time, I was worthless, but from him it slowly started changing.
I was still on the drugs and things but that glimmer of hope began to grow and eventually told my pastor about my drug problems, and from then on, by God's grace only, I was freed from drugs. I never touched it again.
There started my journey in my faith, and here I am now 8 years later going to be getting baptized soon and loving Jesus now more than ever before.
Again, I find it amazing how one man (or woman) can make such a huge mark on a persons life. I have a few people in my life like that, two for now are my grandpa (in my previous blog) and John. I thank God for them everyday still because I wouldnt be where I am and who I am if they didnt reach out to me and extend a hand of love.
Now on to me, thinking what they did for me, I need to think of how I can extend that hand to others and make this kind of a difference in someone else's life.
At a few points in my life I didn't care if I were to live or die, I felt no one cared, so it wouldnt make a difference.
Then there was a small glimmer of hope.
I worked at a tv station in Longview, and my boss John was instrumental in me changing my life. He cared. It was that simple. He just cared. He checked in at the school about how my grades were doing, he pushed me to always do better, and he told me he is always there for me if I ever needed to talk or anything. I felt at one time, I was worthless, but from him it slowly started changing.
I was still on the drugs and things but that glimmer of hope began to grow and eventually told my pastor about my drug problems, and from then on, by God's grace only, I was freed from drugs. I never touched it again.
There started my journey in my faith, and here I am now 8 years later going to be getting baptized soon and loving Jesus now more than ever before.
Again, I find it amazing how one man (or woman) can make such a huge mark on a persons life. I have a few people in my life like that, two for now are my grandpa (in my previous blog) and John. I thank God for them everyday still because I wouldnt be where I am and who I am if they didnt reach out to me and extend a hand of love.
Now on to me, thinking what they did for me, I need to think of how I can extend that hand to others and make this kind of a difference in someone else's life.
Church Online!
New Hope was the first church where I heard church online before.
I think it is AMAZING!
It is great for those that just cant get out, those with sick kids, those that love the church but have moved, there is so many reasons church online is amazing!
I watch it every week that I dont get to make it.
All you do is at 9:30am or 11am cst go to the website http://www.newhopechurch.tv and click the watch button at the bottom right corner of the screen. It will open you up a new window and you can watch! If you want to go more, you can log in and chat with other church onliners! How cool is that!!
So if you dont go to church, or didnt make it today, go check it out!! What have you got to lose? You can always just close it if you totally hate it right? So try!! You wont be disappointed!!
I think it is AMAZING!
It is great for those that just cant get out, those with sick kids, those that love the church but have moved, there is so many reasons church online is amazing!
I watch it every week that I dont get to make it.
All you do is at 9:30am or 11am cst go to the website http://www.newhopechurch.tv and click the watch button at the bottom right corner of the screen. It will open you up a new window and you can watch! If you want to go more, you can log in and chat with other church onliners! How cool is that!!
So if you dont go to church, or didnt make it today, go check it out!! What have you got to lose? You can always just close it if you totally hate it right? So try!! You wont be disappointed!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Running/Jogging
So I am TRYING to start jogging. I am always scared to set myself up for failure, and i dont like to let myself down, so I usually dont do a lot.
I have, for the last 2 days, done only 10 minutes on the treadmill but for about half of that I was able to jog. I am WAY out of shape so this is huge for me. I really need to find an accountability friend to keep me on track.
My goal is to be able to jog/run a 5k. I dont have a time limit, and I dont know if my asthma will cooperate, but that is my goal.
I have, for the last 2 days, done only 10 minutes on the treadmill but for about half of that I was able to jog. I am WAY out of shape so this is huge for me. I really need to find an accountability friend to keep me on track.
My goal is to be able to jog/run a 5k. I dont have a time limit, and I dont know if my asthma will cooperate, but that is my goal.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Interesting how much I have changed
This is just one example of how my views have changed.
When we were going to a baptist church here in town, these homeless people came to church, dirty clothes, not smelling nice, and what did I do.....I turned my nose up at them. I instantly said oh they must want a hand out. I was judgemental terribly. It makes me so upset thinking about it now. I was like that with a lot of people and a lot of things. I was leglaistic and very condemning. It wasnt any one church, but a culmination of things that got my view this way.
Coming to my new church, my views have made a 180 degree change.
Funny how God works, those homeless people I was judemental on are now my friends! I know them by name, chat with them often and help them as much as possible.
They are good people who know and love Jesus, they have a positive attitude despite their situation and they are just friendly sweet people. I would have never taken the time to get to know them or even talk to them before and would have missed out on a great blessing of knowing such nice people.
God looks at the heart and we should too, it is easy to judge people on their out appearance, but we have to get past that and get to know them as people. You may think they arent clean enough, or skinny enough, or smell nice enough or whatever, but those things dont matter, and those things dont make them who they are. What is inside makes them who they are.
I know in my life i have missed out on knowing a lot of great people all because I was judgemental. I was a jerk. Praise God He has changed me, I just feel like such a new person in Him and I am loving it every day!
When we were going to a baptist church here in town, these homeless people came to church, dirty clothes, not smelling nice, and what did I do.....I turned my nose up at them. I instantly said oh they must want a hand out. I was judgemental terribly. It makes me so upset thinking about it now. I was like that with a lot of people and a lot of things. I was leglaistic and very condemning. It wasnt any one church, but a culmination of things that got my view this way.
Coming to my new church, my views have made a 180 degree change.
Funny how God works, those homeless people I was judemental on are now my friends! I know them by name, chat with them often and help them as much as possible.
They are good people who know and love Jesus, they have a positive attitude despite their situation and they are just friendly sweet people. I would have never taken the time to get to know them or even talk to them before and would have missed out on a great blessing of knowing such nice people.
God looks at the heart and we should too, it is easy to judge people on their out appearance, but we have to get past that and get to know them as people. You may think they arent clean enough, or skinny enough, or smell nice enough or whatever, but those things dont matter, and those things dont make them who they are. What is inside makes them who they are.
I know in my life i have missed out on knowing a lot of great people all because I was judgemental. I was a jerk. Praise God He has changed me, I just feel like such a new person in Him and I am loving it every day!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Where is the line
I am wondering where you draw the line. Doing what you think is right, not compromising what you believe, or compromising your values and what you believe so not to offend family members.......... what is more important...... It is interesting.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
One man
I was thinking last night, actually praising Jesus for finally falling in love with him. Anyways My mind went back to my grandpa.
My grandpa was an amazing man. He lived a great life, he loved Jesus, he loved his family and his church, he wasn't legalistic, he just had a love for Jesus that shined out of him. My grandpa had over 20 grandkids, and he reached out and tried to bring all of them to church, he shared his faith and he planted seeds in all of us. That brought him joy, and I am sure all he could hope was someday those seeds he planted would grow into a love for Jesus.
If it wasn't for my grandpa I would not be at this point in my life today, it is all because my grandpa planted that seed in me, by his words and by his actions. He didnt get to see his efforts come to fruition, but I dont think he worried about that, he knew that he did his part and God would do the rest. and God did!!
Ok I am not a good writer but my point for this is that God can use just one willing man or woman to change a life, to change many lives. You CAN make a difference, and if you make a difference in just one persons life, your efforts were worth it! If you love Jesus, you need to let people know! Show it in your actions, but I think more important, your words. You never know who may come to know Him due to you sharing your faith.
My grandpa was an amazing man. He lived a great life, he loved Jesus, he loved his family and his church, he wasn't legalistic, he just had a love for Jesus that shined out of him. My grandpa had over 20 grandkids, and he reached out and tried to bring all of them to church, he shared his faith and he planted seeds in all of us. That brought him joy, and I am sure all he could hope was someday those seeds he planted would grow into a love for Jesus.
If it wasn't for my grandpa I would not be at this point in my life today, it is all because my grandpa planted that seed in me, by his words and by his actions. He didnt get to see his efforts come to fruition, but I dont think he worried about that, he knew that he did his part and God would do the rest. and God did!!
Ok I am not a good writer but my point for this is that God can use just one willing man or woman to change a life, to change many lives. You CAN make a difference, and if you make a difference in just one persons life, your efforts were worth it! If you love Jesus, you need to let people know! Show it in your actions, but I think more important, your words. You never know who may come to know Him due to you sharing your faith.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Joy Joy Joy Joy Down in My Heart!
I can NOT stop SMILING!!!!!!!!!!
I am so happy/overjoyed/excited to be getting baptized!
I was worried at first about what people would think knowing I was baptized before, but I got past that fast!
It doesn't matter what people think!
Before New Hope Church, all I had by way of Jesus and religion was the religion part. I thought I had Jesus but I had legalism!
The first day that I walked in to New Hope I was a little bit nervous.
It was SO Huge!!
I get a lot of anxiety in new situations, so just going was big.
We walked up to the doors and greeters opened them and gave us a nice handshake and hello, we walked in and I am sure looked lost, and someone directed us to where and how to check the kids in and someone showed us where to take them. It put me at ease that people were so helpful and friendly.
Then the service just blew me away!
The music was so exciting and you can tell that the leaders really worship up there and it is not just showy. They have some amazing talent and use it for God's glory.
Guess what, the pastor preaches in JEANS!!!!!!!! And you can bring your pizza (from the cafe) in to the auditorium! Gasp! That is unheard of in all the churches I have ever gone to! So this church was unlike any I have ever attended.
Once we heard the message, I knew this was where I wanted to be. The pastor makes it all so simple. Christianity is not complicated. Jesus is not complicated like I once thought it was, and all the legalism I once adhered to, I soon learned was garbage. You know what matters, Jesus, thats it. Not the man made rules that so many churches treat like gospel.
Anyways, we soon joined New Hope. We fell in love with the church, the people, and most important for me was that I finally after years of thinking and trying fell in love with Jesus!!!!!! I can not stop smiling now because this is finally genuine and real. It is something I have wanted for so long but never knew how to get it.
I could go on FOREVER about the great thing with my church, it is amazing and I think that New Hope helped restore my faith...... I thank God Daily for my church.
So after all I have gone through I am getting baptized at New Hope July 24th, I have done it once but this time I am doing it right, with the right intentions, the right heart and the right mindset. Washing all the legalism away and starting fresh with Jesus!!
I am so happy/overjoyed/excited to be getting baptized!
I was worried at first about what people would think knowing I was baptized before, but I got past that fast!
It doesn't matter what people think!
Before New Hope Church, all I had by way of Jesus and religion was the religion part. I thought I had Jesus but I had legalism!
The first day that I walked in to New Hope I was a little bit nervous.
It was SO Huge!!
I get a lot of anxiety in new situations, so just going was big.
We walked up to the doors and greeters opened them and gave us a nice handshake and hello, we walked in and I am sure looked lost, and someone directed us to where and how to check the kids in and someone showed us where to take them. It put me at ease that people were so helpful and friendly.
Then the service just blew me away!
The music was so exciting and you can tell that the leaders really worship up there and it is not just showy. They have some amazing talent and use it for God's glory.
Guess what, the pastor preaches in JEANS!!!!!!!! And you can bring your pizza (from the cafe) in to the auditorium! Gasp! That is unheard of in all the churches I have ever gone to! So this church was unlike any I have ever attended.
Once we heard the message, I knew this was where I wanted to be. The pastor makes it all so simple. Christianity is not complicated. Jesus is not complicated like I once thought it was, and all the legalism I once adhered to, I soon learned was garbage. You know what matters, Jesus, thats it. Not the man made rules that so many churches treat like gospel.
Anyways, we soon joined New Hope. We fell in love with the church, the people, and most important for me was that I finally after years of thinking and trying fell in love with Jesus!!!!!! I can not stop smiling now because this is finally genuine and real. It is something I have wanted for so long but never knew how to get it.
I could go on FOREVER about the great thing with my church, it is amazing and I think that New Hope helped restore my faith...... I thank God Daily for my church.
So after all I have gone through I am getting baptized at New Hope July 24th, I have done it once but this time I am doing it right, with the right intentions, the right heart and the right mindset. Washing all the legalism away and starting fresh with Jesus!!
My Day
SO I had a GREAT lesson in using coupons today! My kids have been good!! Things were great. I got the kids all packed up and all my book in the car and am all sweaty and my car wont start!!!!!!!!!!! I think the battery is dead or something. It was just fine this morning going to Lake Jackson and now it doesn't work. I am irritated but I guess that is fine. Hopefully my books aren't late!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Excited!
I hear of people couponing ALL the time and saving LOADS of money!! I want to do that! Well Matthews friend gave us a ton of stuff, toiletries and things she got for FREE couponing, so I am going over there tomorrow to learn. I am stoked! I love getting free and cheap stuff and I cant wait to share my new found knowledge with everyone else!
I mean we got razors, shave gel, deoderant, shampoo, body wash, and just allllll kinds of stuff! How cool! More info coming soon :-)
I mean we got razors, shave gel, deoderant, shampoo, body wash, and just allllll kinds of stuff! How cool! More info coming soon :-)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Yes We Are
Matthew and I are getting baptized!
We have both done it before, but for me, my relationship with Jesus did not really start until we came to New Hope Church.
I had head knowledge, I believed, but did not develope that relationship with Jesus until now. We have been at New Hope for a year and it has been the most amazing year ever! So much growth in change in my life and mine and Matthews marriage.
So I know I will have people ask me why I am getting baptized again, and it is simple, my relationship with Jesus finally happened...... i moved past the head knowledge and got out of a lot of legalistic mindsets, got to the root of it all, and that is Jesus...... that is where I am staying, it is the best and only place to be, so I am excitedly getting baptized July 24th!
We have both done it before, but for me, my relationship with Jesus did not really start until we came to New Hope Church.
I had head knowledge, I believed, but did not develope that relationship with Jesus until now. We have been at New Hope for a year and it has been the most amazing year ever! So much growth in change in my life and mine and Matthews marriage.
So I know I will have people ask me why I am getting baptized again, and it is simple, my relationship with Jesus finally happened...... i moved past the head knowledge and got out of a lot of legalistic mindsets, got to the root of it all, and that is Jesus...... that is where I am staying, it is the best and only place to be, so I am excitedly getting baptized July 24th!
Best place to blog?
I had my own website for a blog, and I didnt update like I wanted to, I tried word press and it confused me big time, so now I am trying blogger here and hopefully it works out for me!!
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